arisisisisisis

this is it, this is it

2009-03-04T03:06:00.003+08:00

mood - bummed
music - Mayday Parade : The Last Something That Meant Anything

welcome to loserville.
population : 1.
Mayor : Mr Aristotle douchebag loser Ho.

omg every of my blog entries are emo.
so, what now

i'm pretty fucked up

BOUNCE BOUNCE BABY BOUNCE BACK TO ME

2009-02-05T02:42:00.003+08:00

mood - relieved, well not really
music - The Maine : I Must Be Dreaming

Is your love really Love?
Is my love really Love?
I think our love isn't Love,
Unless it's Love to the end.

Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn't God,
If he fits inside our heads

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO WENCHONG! bloody asshole have a good birthday man. :)

on a side note,
thank you God for everything in my life for everything so far. the ever marvelous friend you can ever have!

she's 18 and a beauty queen

2009-01-25T02:20:00.010+08:00

mood - sigh

music - Mae : Suspension

happy birthday ashleigh and thanks for the party :) it was nice hanging out with the class haha. and i must must get my shoes by tomorrow. school work during CNY. end of block rush again. cough cough cough.

Lately I'm alright
And lately I'm not scared
I've figured out
That what you do to me feels like
I'm floating on air
I don't need to know right now
All I know is I believe
In the very thing that got us here
And now I can't leave

Say anything, but say what you mean
'cause I'm caught in suspension

Now,
I'm wanting this for sure
And I'll beg for nothing more
I'll plan all day and drive all night
You'll love what's in store
I can't seem to stop this now
Even if it's not so clear
And I'll take what I can get
If you want me here (If you want me here)

Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this
Your eyes tell the same
We are gaining speed
I can barely breathe
'cause I'm caught in suspension

It's enough for me to get excited
It's enough for me to feel...woooooah ooooh oh oh oh

Say anything, but say what you mean
When you whisper you want this(when you whisper you want this)
Your eyes tell the same

Say Anything(suspension)
But say what you mean (Oh, please say what you mean)
I'm caught in suspension (suspension)
I'm caught in suspension
Picking up speed (suspension)
I can barely breathe (Oh, I can barely breathe)
I'm caught in suspension
I'm caught in suspension
Say anything (suspension)
But say what you mean (Oh, I can barely breathe)
I'm caught in suspension

2009-01-16T01:52:00.002+08:00

mood - satisfied but shitty at the same time
music - The Cab : I'll Run

i feel that faith is always something that forever, i will be seeking.

today was a roller coaster ride of events, from smiles (haha) to magic tricks to slacking to saving a person's life.
i feel really good that a person's life is saved. and it was my first time dialling the cops too lol. anyway, i hope you'll feel better auntie :) please be well

revealing nightmares

2009-01-15T02:48:00.003+08:00

mood - fucking pissed
music - Agraceful : The Things We Believe

fuck you.

fuck this society.

up against your wall

2009-01-11T16:26:00.002+08:00

mood - okay
music - Incubus : I Miss You

TP open house's over yesterday. and these 3 days were awesome man. haha putting aside the rushing of assignments and this whole cabbing to sch sleep late week, i really enjoyed it man. i made new friends too haha. ok i really need to get my organiser soon if not im dead. lol. firstly JFL was really fun haha. impromtu last minute decisions of doing a song. for you i will, devotion and desire, and lastly, reinventing your exit. shiok! everything about open house is awesome haha. electrico vertical rush and utt came by for the jam and hop lol. this is the first time i've seen utt like besides the tv. anyway, electrico is dope man. omg. amanda ling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her hair is so spunky and she's still so hot lol. oh yeah TPOH was filled with hot chicks too lol.

our world

2009-01-01T00:30:00.002+08:00

mood : fine
music : Bayside - Devotion and Desire

the eve of new year's eve

went to school
night cycling with mus wc and joey
jessicas with tissues, aeroplanes at the touch of our fingertips
stingers and asses getting stung
high on our strained thighs

new year's eve
sleeping till evening
dinner
gossip girl

and now we welcome the spanking 09! please times infinite, that this year will be way better then last year.

and lastly, happy new year to everyone! cheers and god bless!

little drummer boy

2008-12-25T17:42:00.002+08:00

mood - :)
music - Endorphins : August Burns Red

first thing first, happy holidays everyone! have a merry merry christmas and god bless. alright, so on monday, it was dotc1. hailgin! teh teh teh teh teh teh teh teh teh, weeq weeq. HAHAHA! hailgin rocks rocks rocks. made many friends and hailgin! we'll own dotc2 like we did in dotc1 :) also a very happy birthday to elly welly. :) so 22 and 23 was camp, and xmas eve was spent bbqing and catching up at shi rui's house, with esther ee chun eleanor amy joycelyn karen eugene feng ru and of course shi rui herself. it was really nice and we should do this often man. now im recovering my voice. holidays are ending! and it's kinda getting lonely around here. santa i want an itouch or ipod 80gb black pleaseeeee
maybe a girlfriend too HAHAHAA i'm crazy

overwhelming, overcoming, overgrowing

2008-12-19T23:42:00.005+08:00

mood - shitty (don't ask me to shit)
music - Crystal Castles vs. Health : Crimewave

this year's been real bad.

hmmm

just to say

2008-12-13T20:49:00.003+08:00

mood - empty
music - The Almost : Your Love Is Extravagant (Casting Crowns Cover)

today's the first day of my 3 week long break, yup p1's over yeepeedaido whatever. i regretted not doing my best during the final presentation. oh well let's just say i totally flunked it. seriously i could've done so much better.

my cellphone's spoilt and i won't be getting a new one anytime soon, due to my stupid phone plan

currently im addicted to gossip girl. omg blake lively is UMPH!

i have many, many things on my mind.

i wanna get myself wasted at least once during this break

that's all

please tell me that i'm in the biggest labyrinth in the world and i'm afraid to face reality

2008-12-03T22:48:00.003+08:00

mood - blank
music - Slipknot : People = Shit

seriously, i'm giving this whole fucking shit up. again, a deja vu. again, i'm totally dumbfounded at how fast people can change. probably god has his reasons for this to happen but for now i'm totally washing my hands off.

i'm gonna spend my holidays cleaning up my room, listening to music, playing my soccer and red alert 3, listening to music. maybe i'll pen down some drafts and doodle the day away. perfect.

godsend

2008-12-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

mood - feel like shutting myself from every single thing
music - The Myriad

today's crit session. everyone got fucked. oh well. i really can't find any more ounce of energy and will left to push on towards the finishing line.

i feel that life is so freakingly fragile for us to understand and to handle at times. i mean like, yes we're in a highly advanced century and this comes with a price of never-ending number of uprising health cases. it seriously sends chills down one's spine by comparing the now and the past. i do really hope more people in this unfortunately, apathetic and complacent society will open their eyes more and see things clearer.

randy, you have my prayer.

hmmm

2008-11-26T00:56:00.003+08:00

mood - blessed
music - Dir en grey : Bugaboo

alright it's been awhile since the previous ?vuevue (inside joke lol) so i guess this one will be pretty massive. ok so right now, it's almost like the end of P1 for me but yeah I still have 2 more weeks to push myself through. I swear during this period I must have lots of discipline man. anyway still, happy birthday darryl :) respect dude! so yup for the past couple of days I was thinking quite alot and yeah. I just wanna say that everyone is almost the same, i'm sort of like generalizing here but yeah everyone will go through shit, and this serves as a benchmark and a learning point in life. or growing up to be an adult. we've all been through shit, such as problems of family, friends, money. I mean this three stuffs is enough to fuck your life up but somehow, this is where you learn about life and have a tiny lil' tingy taste of reality and the society we're in. it's part and parcel of living, and yeah for me I believe in that everything happens, happens for a reason. i know for friendships/relationships, any setback you'll definitely try to stay strong but yeah you will definitely get a little affected. this is where you learn and move on from here. and this is where we grow, and mature too. but yeah! so to sum up everything, no one is alone. so whenever i'm going through shit, i will tell myself how blessed I am. there's always food on my table, cared by my parents, given pocket money, and the list goes on. and also there are far more people who aren't cared, abandoned and left out and leading a much unpriviledged life then us, the fortunate. oh well, but I know for sure, I still have a long long way to go man.

oh yes this is way long ago but yup hope you enjoyed your birthday mel balls :)

some thoughts - This Providence : Sand In Your Shoes

When you're only 18
And you got nothing to lose
And your living a dream
With the sand in your shoes
Falling in love is easy
It's easy to do

Summer skies and warm colored sunsets
And a sunrise sneaking through my blinds
My demise, I just can't help it
It's suicide, looking in your pale blue eyes

Falling in love is easy to do
With the wind in your hair and the sand in your shoes
And though it may hurt to have your heart broken in two

That didn't stop me from falling for you
When you're dancing on the beach where the water meets your feet
And a cool ocean breeze is fighting the heat
Falling in love is easyIt's easy to do
It's easy to do
Oh I'm falling for you

Bloodmeat

2008-11-21T02:55:00.002+08:00

mood - damn tired
music - Protest The Hero : The Dissentience

today's the self-proclaimed saddest day man. slogged till the security guard came to chased us out. and ate supper after that. i was left with 3 freaking ten cents. and my dad had to fetch me. i wanna sleep but i can't. help.

i've got a hole inside, and it's ten miles wide

2008-11-17T00:29:00.002+08:00

mood - blank
music - blank

haha. yesterday i watched 2 videos on youtube and i cried on both occasions. first was connie talbot's and later on paul potts'. they both have voices of angels which wow-ed me and touched me immediately after they started singing. awesome stuff.

on the other hand, i really don't know what to do anymore.

The Created Void

2008-11-11T01:48:00.002+08:00

mood - blank and drained out
music - Mayday Parade

help. i can't seem to finish my work.

harder than you know, i'm on the last train home.
not the extreme, but still coming close.

back to square one. i'm gonna pick up the pen and start again.

and joey you suck lol just kidding

keep it a secret

2008-11-03T02:06:00.003+08:00

mood - pissed
music - Chiodos : We Swam from Albatross, the Day We Lost Kailey Cost

i'm like procrastinating now. not doing any work. looks like im gna get really low grades for p1 and dwg ess or even fail dwg ess. fuck, i just can't get myself to do my work.

AND FUCK LAMC SHOULD BE LAME LAH WHAT MUST BE 18 ABOVE 18!!!! WTF WHAT PLAY AT DXFUCKINGO WTF HOW CAN YOU EXPECT THEM TO PLAY AT SUCH A FUCKED UP PLACE WTF THANKS FOR RUINING EVERYTHING AND THROWING SG'S FACE AND RUINING MY HOPES OF SEEING AILD AND SOTY MIDAS IS WAY BETTER FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK

crazy crazy nights

2008-11-01T21:51:00.003+08:00

mood - high + freaking tired, of life
music - Teddy Geiger : For You I Will (Confidence)

went for trella's orion single launch. hell, the whole show was down as fuck i swear. everyone, get the single. just get it. lol. then after that, went play. wesley chrystal hakim isaac fiona was there haha. it was omg man. my first time experiencing real gay shit close-up. not to mention 2 freaking beefcakes hitting on me and haha! coincidentally met khai there haha. omg i need moolah for taste of chaos.

help i'm not doing any work.

move one inch at a time

2008-10-29T22:29:00.009+08:00

mood - (=
music - The Chariot : If Wishes Were Horses, More Beggars Would Ride Them

best mee goreng and best teh ice ever at simpang bedok. my stomach never felt so good before. :) and it's only 5 bucks weehoo

About A Girl

BEST RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
i can watch this the whole day man.

tounge-tied, and overloaded, you never notice

2008-10-22T22:35:00.004+08:00

mood - euphoric!
music - The Academy Is... : About a Girl music video yeah man im hooked to it

alright man! today was seriously awesome to the max. had a first ever gig in my whole life and seriously the feeling is ecstatic man gosh. and seriously a big thank you to everyone who came down to watch and i'm sorry i didn't play or sing well. haha and also thanks jk for really helping us out alot and sonia justyn amber too, pleasure working with you guys and the journey till today was awesome. haha and a great job done guys for the rest of the other bands :) huge success!

on a side note, p1 sucks. and drawing essentials isn't that fun.

haha and pigs can have extensions :):):):):)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im going nuts

just a lil' more patience

2008-10-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

mood -
music - Escape the Fate : Harder than You Know

today was spent mostly in school, rehearsing for jams for lunch and helping out with the event. and justyn was seriously amazing being the sound engineer and setting up everything which is a HELL lot of stuffs to do. now i really know what backstage's like for a gig to be successful. on behalf of everyone i thank you man :) so after justyn got everything up, jams for lunch rehearsal started.

seriously there are many talented people, the evd year 2s band playing pug jelly's come home soon was well done and jerold i guess? he was AMAZING. seriously i was blown away. fucking talented guy i swear. then we have the twins from year 1 and omg they are seriously damn good too. i had goosebumps haha. and for the main comm band they did good too seriously damn nice. and not to mention sure-li and sue's band their voice is like omg. jon's band was damn good too we all enjoyed check yes juliet. at this point of time i really felt damn low and i had no confidence at all. and then the worst thing happened.

because of time constrain 1 band could only play a song. so we decided to do sweet child so we can test out all the equip. and jon seriously thank you so much for playing rythmn for us. :D seriously thanks thanks thanks alot. and woohoo alright 1 min into the song i died. the kicker for the drum bass and a seriously wicked swing. so whenever i release the pedal the kicker swings back and hits my foot. i don't wear shoes when im playing. so the pain was fucking unbearable. and after our sweet child o' mine set, my foot is damn bruised and swollen. and it's still hurting now and i fucking swear it hurts big time. but i was glad that it went better then i expected, haha reason being we have jon lending a hand.

alright then after the last band, we decided to do 3 cheers for 5 years. it. was. horrible. i feel like shit now seriously. the jamming sessions were quite good and we hit the dumps big time, big big time for the rehersal.

help.
i'm damn tired of everything, and i wanna give up.
oh god please tell me what to do.
i seriously hope all things will go well during wednesday.

hopeless

2008-10-15T04:11:00.002+08:00

mood - o_o
music - Escape the Fate : On To the Next One

i never felt so infected, so disconnected
lock myself away, i got nothin' else to say

sleepers just don't

2008-10-12T03:31:00.003+08:00

mood - sad
music - Lostprophets : Last Train Home

i'm sad. and i just realised i have very little sad songs in my itunes oh well. i really don't know what to say or do anymore. and mus, sad songs do help la HAHA

i don't know why but i feel that you're losing interest
oh well what can i do anyway where on earth is there such a person
that wants someone to give attention to
that's freakingly horrible
but, still
i really don't know what to say or do anymore

fuck
what have i become

holding on, not

2008-10-11T01:06:00.003+08:00

mood - stoning
music - Envy : Pure Birth And Loneliness

for the few days that have passed and now still, i just feel like shutting myself off - my mind, everything. no connections at all to the world. i don't know why but i am seriously at the lowest point of my life. of course there's a reason, and yeah many reasons actually. i'm peeved with a number of things, disappointed, whatever. and it's here where we start to whine that life is unfair, where life was never really fair actually. but what's the use?? there will always be people who are childish, who does stuff to hinder you from living your own life and it's fucking lame and a total waste of time, seriously. and, to be pissed at this and that. in the end it comes down to hate, it's seriously lame i swear. but for sure, this society has a long way to go. and till then, people have to stop being naive and hope that one day hate will be eradicated. and after all these deep thoughts and rantings i decided that for now, i just wanna get good grades so that i can survive later on, and of course to be filial to your parents and give them a better life after retirement. haha just a note, if you bear the same thoughts as me? actually 4 words can describe this particular crossroad of life: and growing up. life sucks love hurts! haha it's pretty cliche and whoa man. oh well im being lame and dumb so goodbye

haha it's lame i swear. after this event, you have to be 18 in order to party. I GIVE UP

the fortunate

2008-10-08T02:34:00.003+08:00

mood - hungreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
music - Cartel : If You Do, If You Don't

today and yesterday were pretty awesome haha. went sembawang for crabbing yesterday(sonia melvin joey larry wenchong mus) and we caught 4 crabs. and sungei road/army market with gabe and mus (pretty sad, i couldn't really get what i want). loads of killing i swear -.- and i guess im pretty retarded im hooked onto the rocker and i've watched it successfully for the 3rd time now. emma stone's got me stoned HAHA AWW LOL and i'm heading for supper now bye

is this real or is it insanity?
or is fate or is clarity?
am i ever waiting?
or is it the same thing twice?

we are losers

2008-10-01T23:02:00.007+08:00

mood - tired and drained
music - Bring Me the Horizon : The Sadness Will Never End

firstly, selamat hari raya! haha. and i just ate one of the best rendang ayam ever. my stomach is really satisfied ahaha. and night cycling with sonia, wenchong, larry and joey was awesome. cycling for half a day and prawning and shivering temperatures and tearing asses and painful thighs and muscle aches and mcgriddles and awesome moments and sleeping for 10hours straight later. and, im seriously sad and disappointed with my results. oh well.

what is happening to this world!?

oh my god, help
there's a calling ahead
a desperation
a falling of man
we are all lost in the sound, lost in the sound
lost in the sound of separation

YAY

2008-09-23T23:54:00.004+08:00

mood - relieved but hate that i have that bump on my head
music - The Academy Is... : Sodium

alright i just went to see the doctor and oh my god luckily it's a low level bruise yay. which means i'm fine! but i swear it really hurts. i waited for like 1 hour in the clinic for my consultation. luckily the doctor is professional if not i will really be pissed. haha and still he said to me 'HAPPY ICING' sheesh.

WHATAF

2008-09-23T21:38:00.003+08:00

mood - i'm scared
music - Hillsong : Worthy is the Lamb

went to jam today for friday's mass. it's super weird i think. there isn't any lead guitarist and man, it was super improvised versions of songs.

and oh, can someone please tell me how fucking unlucky am i. the worst ulcers i had just healed and guess what happened a few moments ago. i was laying down on my couch watching the tele-v and i just stood up immediately to adjust my ceiling fan speed. and momentarily i just fainted out (i guess it's low pressure or whatever) and i hit my shoecase's knob at the back of my head. i swear it hurts alot and i just sat there and stoned. like what the fuck was i doing man. then later my mom kept rubbing the swell and it seriously hurts. for a good whole 30 minutes i was slow in response. fuck it seriously.

my my my

2008-09-22T00:08:00.004+08:00

mood - BORED
music - Vega4 : Life is Beautiful

November 8, Fort Canning Park.
As I Lay Dying, Atreyu, Story of the Year, MUCC
95 bucks.
i'm so going. even if it makes me broke. :D

plagues

2008-09-21T16:54:00.004+08:00

mood - really bored and my teeth hurts for no apparent reason
music - Still Remains : White Walls

ok so when i was half awake yesterday, i heard my brother's girlfriend crying really terribly. my mom was also tearing, and trying to console her. you see, her dad had been screened to have colon cancer, in the 2nd stage. In place of hope, i really do ask for the lord to help.

i'm really not too sure, but i feel that this world is done for. maybe that's why i decided to choose the devil wears prada's album artwork for plagues to paint. whilst painting, i feel really attached to it. and also haha im a lil biased as it's one of my favourite bands. and yeap it's done within 5 hours woohoo

yesterday night i went to syara's birthday chalet. haha it was awesome. thanks syara for the hospitality :D i hope you enjoyed your day too. after that it was inpromptu to go prawning hahaha at punggol park. after that was some chilling out at wenchong's house.

yes! it's the holidays but yeah like always i feel super bored. oh well at least this tuesday and the following to come i have time to watch the tele-v. :)

also! i want an iphone/itouch :(

standing beneath the spotlight

2008-09-02T23:01:00.008+08:00

mood - melting pot of everything
music - Anberlin : Misearbile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)

im sure for everyone there are times of uncertainty where you just wished the world will stop spinning, forget that time even existed and be sirenized by the clouds. i've been experiencing just that for the past few days. the cause? myself, i don't even know. i guess this is one of the few crossroads of life. and before visualizing that, you just feel like lighting up a cig, and another, and another. i swear it sucks. with all the political unrests and natural disasters around the globe, sometimes you just feel tired of life, and wished god takes you up with Him. just to sidetrack a little, our generation will be witnessing some of the most jaw-dropping events, happenings and et cetera. it sends shivers down your spine to even actually say it out. dec 21st, 2012 - the winter solstice, natural disasters on a global scale, a surge in a political power domination which is highly referred to as the anti-christ, and boom yay WW3. phew. talk about nuclear warfare.

17! i'm already 17. i have many dreams yet to be fulfilled. do i even have the time for all these? one of which is my passion and what's the drive in my life. certainly to some and to the older generation it seems really naive and a total waste of valuable time. i'm still waiting, for that one time to perform on stage, to vocalize, to exhale my screams for my passion, for my faith, and for my love for music. oh well, right now i can't even come up with lyrics. terrible terrible.

oh yeah, enough of all that nonsense.(tsk)
do you know, i swear everytime you are near im totally mesmerized. time stalls. and your presence makes my heart throb even faster and faster. it literally takes my breath away! hahahaha i'm not being cheesy alright.

to conclude, this entry is about how i feel. it's... damn random. HAHA

Anyone Can Dig a Hole But It Takes a Real Man to Call It Home

2008-08-30T01:52:00.005+08:00

mood - konked out
music - Underoath : Lost In the Sound of Separation (YUP THE WHOLE ALBUM ^^)

alright im knocked out. 3 hours of hardcore soccer. took part in d'olympics with the rest. overall it was good solid soccer action :) but as usual there is always some stupid shit. and well, i feel we could have been in the finals but i flopped it. and omg, if i had the money i will get this:

oh yeah, OOMOO (M) x ∞ :) oink!

though the clarity's vague, i will figure this out

2008-08-17T02:59:00.002+08:00

mood : stoned
music : Trella - Faith

alright it's been quite awhile since i last blogged. today's a good day. thankfully the torrential pouring of the rain stopped so i can head to town. i went to peninsula plaza to alter my jeans. it costs only 7 bucks and the alteration's quite well done :) and seriously going to town now sucks big time. almost everyone is lame and fashion disasters are a norm now. so after that, met sonia and the rest for weekend trip. thumbs up for today's lineup man. so actually eileen, sonia+michelle and friends, mus, wc was there rocking out. ooh man trella's set was hardcore today but sadly the sound wasn't really good. headbang headbang hahaha =.= after that shisha and tau huey with wc larry and joey. nice. alright now back to work.

desolate earth: the end is here

2008-08-07T02:21:00.002+08:00

mood - contented
music - strictly underOATH today

haha today was like damn ass man. my stomach was like aching the whole day until i ate my lunch. and the first thing was seeing amber and justyn being really retarded lol. anyway, today was more on brainstorming the ideas for form exploration. this module is fun but yeah, i still need time to absorb the architectural terms. and then after that i had dinner with gabe mel and the rest at changi village. OOOOOH nasi lemak and ayam penyet. and then it was a rating session. haha. and OOOOOOOOOOOOH new one new one :D

Find your way

2008-07-31T01:23:00.002+08:00

mood - blank
music - Nobuo Uematsu piano collection (FINAL FANTASY VII)

whoa. i think i have really improved in my photography noob skills after today HAHAHA. now i want a lomo! ugh. sigh. there are just too many regrets in life. i regret not learning piano when i was young. whenever i see videos of people playing beautifully, there's always this tingy sense of jealousy and envy. oh well, i guess what i can do is to appreciate. oh one more thing, i swear i will keep playing final fantasy whenever i have the time. whenever i see videos on the original soundtrack, it's really touching. on another note, if i can have the luxury of having a family, and kids, i'll definitely have my children to learn music and arts. :)

oh well. i guess it's time to move on. there's no more meaning in waiting on you. the past, the love, the memory. all of those... it's almost been a year man. from now onwards. no more. it's gonna be a new life. it has been really busy these few days. sometimes i just wish there was a shoulder to lean on. i know i sound like a girl lol! but yeah...

As You Wish

2008-07-17T00:43:00.003+08:00

mood - vexed
music - Alesana : All Night Dance Parties in the Underground Palace

okay i think i'm like dead? i have to rush my untouched rendering and hand up by tomorrow. damn it. i need red bullllllllllllll. haha, designer's drink hahahahahahahahahaha. there wasn't any lesson today, and my main reason for coming to school was to do work and go for the sub comm meeting. in the end i had lunch with luvlisonia (LOL) with michelle at ITAS. bumped into shirui and i tell you she eats alot HAHAHAAHA. and so i decided to try out the roti john. unexpectedly i took the last roti john. and there was this funny fella beside me. he asked the store auntie "what is inside a roti john ah?" imagine that. sonia and i laughed like mad behind him and i think that made my day :D then after that lepaked at pondok with tiff and company. i wasn't making use of time, sigh. then bla bla, attended the talk, and i had dinner with new friends at eastpoint :) awesome bunch of people haha. omg and thanks alot to mongoose kimchi for this photo hehe.

a fragment of the (____) is in my wallet, with me everyday.
okay, this is a major dilemma.

beautiful intelligent talented charismatic and horny. haha

2008-07-12T18:28:00.003+08:00

mood - relaxed
music - Emarosa : Sailing IN the Dark Isn't Smart Kid!

haha im not quite sure whether did i remember what kumar said about the abbreviation of bitch correctly hahahaha. yeap, i went to 3 monkeys last night to watch the stand-up comedy starring kumar with wesley and his sis and co. it was pretty impromtu and out of the blue. i guess i was lucky i wasn't screened for my age as that place only allows 18 and above for entry. orchard towers! okay. the place for prostitution, screwed up bapoks, etc. and all of us saw one of the oldest prostitutes. very unsightly.

mount krakatau just erupted

2008-07-09T06:05:00.003+08:00

mood - wooo shiok ahhh...
music - tiff's blog's telepopmusik

so just now we went to drink and lepak at some rooftop garden near tiff's house, with sonia, of course tiff and peanut. was really a nice environment for slacking :) so peanut have to leave at around 3, we went back to tiff's house early. sonia's still sleeping now and i just had a facial. tiff the master oil seeds (in my case slobs) remover hehe. it was like, the reign of the pacific ring of fire volcanoes erupted. instant relief. a night well spent, :) and tiff's house is really amazing. but what the hell. i have no mood at all to start on my work.

BHISH! SPLAT!

tiff's study room. shiok only! but it's actually just a picture of me.

burp

2008-07-03T02:27:00.002+08:00

mood - topsy-turvy
music - As Cities Burn : Thus From My Lips, By Yours, My Sin Is Purged

school's been pretty alright. haha. i've got my piercing done yesterday in the studio. a smiley piercing haha. then wenchong and eileen kept laughing and saying, got "veggie stuck". lol. anyway thanks alot sonia for helping me to buy the stuffs, and peanut for helping me pierce. you can save alot man if you ask him to pierce for you haha. and yesterday's presentation went well too. phew. preparing on the 11th hour is really scary. after that, met gabe and the rest for dinner at appachi leaf. and that place is having a promotion man. like 2 bucks for a plate of mee goreng. sweet!

here's the smiley ~~

happy birthday

2008-06-28T00:03:00.002+08:00

mood - relieved
music - As I Lay Dying : Within Destruction

so my birthday's over. also the submission's over. so i'm fucking one more year to being 18. like what the hell. gayest moment in life man. i don't look forward to birthdays, but yeah the people around me surely made my day, my birthday! special thanks to everyone who wished me. :) also thank you sonia and leo for caking me and making my face oily. i swear it's a damn touching day for me, being the 1st time so many people sang a birthday song for me. especially rhd year ones! awesome bunch. also thanks to peanut for helping me ALOT. haha. you nabei. lol. and tiff mom! haha. "szu sen" too. LOL. big thanks to design school 'sfriends'. :) i thank god for making my birthday so wonderful. the almighty one above man.

i guess time changes people.
drastically.

<3

2008-06-23T23:47:00.002+08:00

Alter Bridge : Rise Today

The wind is blowing cold
Have we lost our way tonight?
Have we lost our hope to sorrow?

Feels like we're all alone
Running further from what's right
And there are no more heroes to follow

So what are we becoming?
Where did we go wrong?

Yeah, oh yeah
I want to rise today
And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah
Oh, won't you rise today
And change this world?

The sun is beating down
Are we ever gonna change
Can we stop the blood from running?

Our time is running out
Hope we find a better way
Before we find we're left with nothing

For every life that's taken
So much love is wasted

Yeah, oh yeah
I want to rise today
And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah
So won't you rise today
And change

This world
Only love can set it righ
tThis world
If only peace would never die
It seems to me that we've got each other wrong
Was the enemy just your brother all along?

Yeah, oh yeah
I want to rise today
And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah
Oh won't you rise today
And change this world?

Yeah, oh yeah
I want to rise today
And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah
I want to rise today
And change this world

black friday

2008-06-13T21:53:00.005+08:00

mood - relieved, it's the weekend baby
music - The Word Alive : The Devil Inside

so it's friday the 13th today. perfect choice of date to blog since i didn't for so fucking long lol. many things happened between my previous post and today's. so yup school's pretty fine. taking architectural drawing and communicating design ideas now. it's a pretty tight schedule but yup, it's still good because the class gets to bond, and yeah i get to smoke and chill alot haha. so recently i got caught. damn it. i swear it was so unlucky to get caught red-handed at cine. fuckshit. so he asked why did i pick it up? duh! ask yourself fucky. oh well forget about it. so and the most recent thing was tiffany and my mom's bday. seriously it was damn funny calling her mom. haha, and red label with heineken at a star was shiok sia. although i flopped during my comDI presentation, but drinking and smoking after eating was, damn shiok. lol. and that somehow gave me an adrenalin rush to finish my work within like, 1 hour? what the fuck man. oops there's another most recent recent thing. i kissed wesley LOL. imagine that! it all happened when we all thought sonia left her art block and drawing pencil on the canteen table. so she went to the studio and i have to retrieve it for her and in order to do so i had to smooch wesley on the lips. haha! shit man. oh yes, going to school is ecstatic. that smile is just plainly, too mesmerizing. oh fuck! lol.

this is awesome shit. as wesley too said, joey=bastard hehe

Discovering the Waterfront

2008-05-22T16:17:00.003+08:00

mood - im still high from the chalet
music - Silverstein : Smile in Your Sleep

omgzxzxc. i swear i will not drink so much in 1/2 hour. i never puked so much in my life before. but it was hella fun. dotc chalet was gooooood :) AND MANCHESTER UNITED WON WOOOHOOO

PUNK'D

2008-05-21T01:24:00.003+08:00

mood - hysterical
music - hide memorial submit : PIN-KU SPIDER!

lol guess what. it's the holidays and i finished my VM module. and today, after handing up the assignment i had some snacks ( for me ) with sylvia, her vsc friend and des.

and whataf. i got punk'd by sonia la wth. lol!

wartortle

2008-05-12T04:37:00.002+08:00

mood - :)
music - My ceiling Fan

i just came home from joanna's crib. wenchong and kaysee was there. now there is a new place crash to do work. now i want a macbook pro and a nikon DSLR.

mishaps and endless time

2008-05-11T01:16:00.002+08:00

mood - sad.
music - X Japan : Tears

i really thank god that i got home from school just in time to be able to pick up my grandpa's distress call. he fell down at the entrance of my carpark. today will be etched in my memory forever. seeing the amount of blood he lost and seeing him with my own eyes in the ambulance, is really heart-breaking for me. so while my mom followed my grandpa to the hospital, i accompanied grandma back home to calm her down to wait for my uncles to come.

i also thank god that he is conscious at all time, and that he is fine. he had 7 stitches on his forhead above his swollen left eye and when i saw him on the hospital bed, my heart sank and i was holding back my tears. i know im selfish, but i hold him really closely in my heart. grandpa i love you, get well soon okay?

BOOO

2008-05-06T01:45:00.002+08:00

mood - contented boy :)
music - Secondhand Serenade : Stay Close, Don't Go

i'm seriously loving school. haha. in fact im missing school already! alright. from now on, studies, music, having fun is the thing man. and not to mention the fun factor - right in the heart of temasek design school!

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story

It's time I open up, and let your love right through me

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story

It's time I open up, and let your love right through me

That's what you get

When you see your life in someone else's eyes

That's what you get, that's what you get

the moral this time is, girls make boys cry

2008-05-04T18:51:00.003+08:00

mood - stressed!
music - Mayday Parade : Three Cheers for Five Years

man, the assignments are stress factors! hoo boy. i hope i can complete it asap.

i really hope that you'll be happy.

Jersey

2008-04-29T00:41:00.003+08:00

mood - frustrated
music - Mayday Parade : Miserable At Best

seriously, im really damn frustrated. i can't sketch properly now. i met up with the gay boys (louis hongguo andy) to chat just awhile ago. man, the scale just balances well. love = hate and hate = love . reminisicing has gotta be the worst thing ever. it relates to a melting pot of both positive and negative feelings, sweet, happy, heart-wrenching, et cetera. it's just so frustrating when your broken heart aches. and you do not want that special someone to be deeply hurt, too. feelings are just substantially difficult to handle with. im seriously a sucker for that. the memories displayed on the shelves are just too hard to let go. not to mention the countless nights of weaving imaginary cocoons on the bed.

APPLE BOTTOMED JEANS

2008-04-27T01:21:00.003+08:00

mood - hyped up
music - Blessthefall : Higinia

DOC's sentosa outing was a blast baby! i thank the lord for all the friends i made :) although i was trying my best to not get dunked but in the end i did =.= alright, i need GIGS man GIGS. and i need to start on my assignment soon. tsk

jam and hop, oh wait. it's design school's yo!

2008-04-26T00:14:00.002+08:00

mood - relieved!
music - Secondhand Serenade : A Twist In My Story

poly life's funnnnnnnnnnn. teehee. i just came back from design school's jam and hop. and i tell you. i've never shuffled so much in my life. and danced. and popped. ooh my. and the good thing's that it's our own private space... hoo boy. and i haven't started on my assignment and tomorrow there's sentosa outing!

i guess im on the right track. i'll hope that i won't have the tendency to reminisce the memories.

In place of hope

2008-04-23T00:19:00.003+08:00

mood - fucked up.
music - Still Remains : To Live and Die By Fire

so, if i were to start counting the number of times i'm feeling fucked up, i guess it will be like 65% of all my posts this blog carries. i thought that i'm starting to, you know, get a new life when i got into poly but guess what, history is repeating again and again. my bro chided me, again. he asked me to cut my hair, again. like what the fuck. i resorted to bangs because of him forcing me to cut. and now, he wants me to cut away my sides and back. can you imagine your sibling telling you right in the face that your hair is fucking ugly? no style? like as if he knows, "style". i can't believe that i have a brother who is a downright loser. fuck him man. i really don't know what to do. life sucks, love hurts. it sucks so much that i'm trying to be optimistic everytime. im really tired. tired of all these heap loads of damn shit.

design will win the war, design will win the war

2008-04-19T14:18:00.002+08:00

mood - wow-ed, tired
music - believe it or not, those jam and hop RnB/trance songs are going through my head now

im back from Design orientation camp. and. it was the BEST camp i've ever been to. temasek design school is certainly the place to be man. i had so much fun that i didn't want the camp to end. and yes! a very big thank you to the programmers, FAs, GLs, friends i made in the camp, and the TPSU. and of course our director, moses. =D he is HIP man i tell you. there's too much to say if i were to list out what happened. it'll probably take 2 posts hahahaha. anyway! design school rocks man. :) and the reason to a sudden change for my music is due to yesterday's jam and hop. sia la! it's the first time im in a clubbing environment and shuffling and breaking. damn. so not me man. haha but oh well, once in a blue moon will do no harm aye? =D and yay, Nouvel rules. nope. Temasek Design School rules. =D

So Far

2008-04-15T06:36:00.002+08:00

mood - blah blah bloop
music - Buckcherry : Crazy Bitch

guess what? i didn't sleep for the whole of last night. i couldn't fall asleep man. and i think my sleeping pattern's been getting really terrible. i'm becoming a norcturnal animal! sheesh. maybe it's partly because of the excitement for the orientation today. oh man. off to meet bing hui now. ciao!

The Night Of Destruction

2008-04-13T20:58:00.003+08:00

mood - FUCKING STOKED
music - X Japan X Japan X Japan!

so during dinner time, i decided to visit youtube and watch X Japan's "The Last Live". believe me, everytime i watch those clips, tearing can't be prevented. i'm sure every X Japan fan will feel that way, too. the overwhelming and escalating emotion's what the performance on that faithful night never fail to generate in me. after about 4 songs into the night, i chanced upon a link. title "X Japan Attacks Again : 2008" so guess what. this channel had all the video clips of the performance on March 28/29, 2008. X Japan's Reunion! and of course. i'm gonna get it by hook or by crook. everyone was amazing during those nights. sugizo (Luna Sea), wes borland (Black Light Burns, Limp Bizkit) fortus (Guns N' Roses) filled in as guitarists too. the atmosphere was fantastic, even watching from youtube. how i wished i was right in tokyo dome, watching the rock gods live. verdict! im gonna get the dvd.

this year's may 2th will be hide's ten year death anniversary. man. so here's an even bigger wish of mine. to be there at the hide memorial submit. to witness 20 awesome artists and of course, X Japan. tell me man, where is the best place to be at may 3th and 4th. with dir en grey performing, luna sea, oh how i wish i was there to witness the bands whom i love, and look up to so much.

a salute to X Japan! and a big salute to these beautiful people;
hide
Yoshiki
Toshi
Heath
Pata
Taiji
wes borland
fortus
sugizo

\m/ rock for life. \m/

smile in your sleep

2008-04-10T02:40:00.002+08:00

mood - gah
music - Chiodos : One Day Women Will All Become Monsters

haha don't worry, i don't have that perception from the title above. and i don't jolly well discriminate too :D in fact, today i witnessed the worst guy ever, he was so fucking desperate and stuff, trying to win his ex-girlfriend back. =.= it was a nice 45 minute scene man. i wanted to beat some shit sense into him, in fact all of us lol. imagine a guy asking a girl to sympathize him. what a disgrace to all men.

i must get over this.

and i'll be here by the ocean, just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams

2008-04-09T01:56:00.002+08:00

mood - ugh
music - Buckcherry : Next 2 You

i just couldn't get to sleep. insomnia's acting on me man. so of course many thoughts were flashing across my mind. ooh man, why is it so hard to let things go

walk on water or drown

2008-04-07T01:03:00.003+08:00

mood - quirky wacky
music - Panic At The Disco : We're So Starving

"it's not like we live forever." haha. dickhead, i hate losers who take things for granted. in the face d00dssssssszxc.

i'm gonna put on weight.
i'm gonna put on weight.
i'm gonna put on weight.

i'm not gonna be skinny anymore.
i'm not gonna be skinny anymore.
i'm not gonna be skinny anymore. =D

Jesus and gravity

2008-04-03T19:05:00.003+08:00

mood - a lil' down =(
music - American Idol \m/

so i've learnt something important today after watching the live results. why ramiele! =(( anyway, it's really sad to see dreams broken and shattered. and of course, to personally experience it is really painful. but! it's not the end of the road definitely. we have to learn to pick ourselves up, and walk down the road again. (; so this goes out to the ones who had fallen... get up and get back to the driver's seat again! =DD dreams do come true, and i believe in that.

if you don't find me on the front page,

2008-04-02T19:30:00.003+08:00

mood - wow-ed
music - Secondhand Serenade : Fall For You

this season's american idol is seriously amazing man. fantastic and talented people. haha.

Lying all around

2008-03-30T02:16:00.002+08:00

mood - none.
music - Alesana : This Conversation Is Over

all good things come to an end eh? yeah. it just ended pretty vaguely. revetment's dead. R.I.P.

all of the above

2008-03-29T02:22:00.004+08:00

mood - happy :)
music - West Grand Boulevard : Now We Will

alright, so i caught Step Up 2 with louis, yutong, liang jie today (technically yesterday but who cares) at plaza sing. seated from the 2nd row sucks but the movie's good, so it's fine :) but there were 4 stupid cheena ladies on my right. and i tell you it's hell man. they can "wooooooooo!" at every single thing, "hen li hai leh!", "wa kan ta de six pack", and a hell lots of other things which weren't NEEDED at all. but it's funny when i don't hear them laughing at the comedic parts of the movie. but yes the show was awesome man. which brings me to a tiny confession: i do sometimes turn on the hip hop songs and break a lil while stoning at home. haha. and yeah, west grand and cardinal avenue invaded HIHS. like wtf? our school? and muttons, daniel ong came by too. all these things after we graduate. but oh well, i think nobody in our school knows and appreciates the local scene, sadly. in fact i feel sorry for wgb and cardinal avenue. lol. meeting a dead and cheena school, and probably the worst sound managment lol. ooops! and yeah, i'm gonna take those stupid posts i had earlier on to the thrash. it was really stupid of me man.

don't ever say sorry again aight, ? silly :)

here today, gone tomorrow, we're saying our good-byes

2008-03-22T05:16:00.002+08:00

mood - mixed
music - A Day To Remember : Fast Forward to 2012

alright, it's time to wake up and stop living in denial. enough of all these shit. love isn't really that important, studying hard, working hard, and getting a good job in the future is certainly of utmost priority now.

One More Moment

2008-03-18T21:53:00.003+08:00

Mood - Empty
Music - Mayday Parade : Champagne's for Celebrating (I'll Have a Martini)

get me a time machine. how i wish i didn't fall for you. then all of these wouldn't have happened. then you need not get through all these.

let's just stop, drop everything, forget each others names, and just walk away

2008-03-17T12:41:00.005+08:00

mood - sad, happy, whatever
music - A Skylit Drive : The Past, The Love, The Memory

damn, i will have swollen eyes and blocked nose for awhile now. lol, with my short fringe now, it'll be tough to mask those puffy eyes man. oh well, i'll never fall in love again. but yes of course, i want you to be happy and stuff. but yeah, i fully respect your decision. i guess i'm not gonna make a good boyfriend, or rather, not good at handling relationships. sigh. and the way to fully love someone, is to let her go. so it's pretty cliche when humans face this same scenario and start saying, "i'll never fall in love again." oh well, maybe after i've matured, then i will. LOL. that will be after ns. your giggles and your wide smile, your silly-ness, and those nights of spouting nonsense, hoo boy i'm definitely gonna miss them all. it's really a nice feeling to have a vivid memory of them, but it will be better for the aches in my heart to be spared when reminicising. looking on the brighter side of this, i was really glad that, that i've let you know, "i love you." let's see, it's gonna be tough harbouring all of these in me. but for the one i love so much, it's really nothing.

i don't need to wonder

2008-03-09T23:23:00.002+08:00

"i've become a giant chilli!" after the adidas plus challenge. although we didn't manage to get into the last 16 but all in all, the experience gained is priceless :) and i scored 2 goals too yay.

sigh, i really don't like where i am now. this sucks big time. being right smack in the middle of wanting to live and not really is a shitty feeling.

on frail wings of vanity and wax

2008-03-09T00:57:00.003+08:00

ooh karen's birthday was a blast! the fish & co people were really a nice bunch of people, and creative too. 5/5 stars for them =) hope you enjoyed today karen :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what the fuck is wrong with you. first thing you said to me when you got back from your vacation is to want me to cut my hair. fuck you. i fucking hate you. just lead your own life and don't cross mine. screw you.

realise all these things that you took from me

2008-03-08T13:36:00.004+08:00

mood - voluminous
music - The Devil Wears Prada : HTML Rulez d00d

alright man, yesterday's session was pretty good. now our tightest song is no longer mcr's i don't love you, it's html rulez d00d! haha. but sadly i think my pitching is failing me yet again, sigh. i could tackle all those songs we jammed yesterday the last time but not now =( oh well, and happy birthday karen! for the 3rd time lol lol

you are my, disaster

2008-03-03T15:40:00.004+08:00

mood - fucking peeved
music - The Rolling Stones : Gimme Shelter

i've had more than enough. i'm tired of everything. i don't fucking like you judging my every moment, and it's my own life. just get married and fucking move out of this place. at times i think why i was even born.

the day that dawns,
blood shall be drawn.
your paranoia
and apathy
just what are you?

times like these,
i need a wish.

Dying is your latest fashion

2008-02-21T20:49:00.003+08:00

Escape the Fate : Reverse this Curse

A withered past and a blurry future,
My heart's on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.

I live to fast, and I know I will lose her,
But there is an option, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.

It's dead,
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.

It's dead,
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love,
And to, the girl, that filled my heart.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove up the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kids that died.

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love.
And to, the girl, that filled, my, dark.

situations

2008-02-18T02:19:00.000+08:00

mood - I'M FRIGGING TIRED
music - Dir en grey : Bottom of the Death Valley
the GazettE : Chizuru
underOATH : In Regards To Myself
Dir en grey : Cage
ooh man, the temp job im at now is seriously way better then my previous one. so i was at this carlsberg event, and for ages 18 and above only. kudos kudos kudos to this job man :D although having blood clots underneath 2 fingernails and cuts and blisters and frostbrites and muscle aches but all in all it's funnnn. your social circle will definitely grow. hahaha the sad thing is we could only touch the shandys, no stouts and beer =( hah. and the hilarious thing is that i didn't know ah nan was so hostile backstage. sheesh. mark lee was way better, as we exchanged smiles, rather then cold stares from ah nan. the 1st day wasn't that bad, being the waiter and serving the cans to the number of "drunken gods" in d'marquee (pardon my french) (or is it another language i don't know) but the 2nd day was just horrible, being posted to the bar. i learnt the art of using the spoon to open the cans, but it was too late, and i got stupid clots. and dipping your hands into the chill box for beer isn't fun and cool. i couldn't feel my arms after about half an hour at the bar. har har. the colleagues and bosses are fun to work with! that's the best part of this. but remembering the person/people whom you are supposed to serve the beer with is a nightmare, reason being the tables aren't numbered and it's quite a huge function hall. oh yeah, the hokkien songs and chinese wadever songs are just horrible man. taiwan ge-tai icons filled the backstage you see. so that's what you get. like wang fei hong elec. guitar riffs! lol. the best part of the itinerary in my opinion was when this female singer whom i think is like some, whatever icon from taiwan where she actually sang oh, carol. many people got up from their seats and beer + food soiled tables to tango. haha. kudos baby, kudos for this particular job =D AND I TOOK 20 EFFING MINUTES FOR THIS POST!

Sound of the sun

2008-02-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

mood - glad (:
music - Silverstein : Worlds Apart

so first and foremost, a very happy birthday to fengru and my dad. haha. and a happy valentine's day to all. and i got to say sticky rice is kinda amazing. we celebrated fengru's birthday there. and it was seriously awesome (=

i wonder.

bring me my escape

2008-01-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

mood - rojak!
music - X-Japan : Art Of Life
X-Japan : Endless Rain
X-Japan : Tears
X-Japan : Forever Love
Underoath : To Whom It May Concern
Underoath : Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape
Bad Obsession : Yesterday's Eyes
Guns N' Roses : November Rain

alright, it's been long since i returned to blogger. there isn't much to blog about nowadays, seriously. okay a lil bit of chronology - i got 17 points for my 'o's. 3 for english, 2 for humanities, and 4 for my chinese geography maths and science. oh well, it wasn't what i expected but yeah i didn't mug enough so this is what i will definitely get. now i hope i can get into the course that i submitted. really.

everyone has their problems, and of course, the lowest point of their lives. well for now, i guess it is, for me. whenever i hear people saying that they hate growing up, naturally i will rebutt back telling them that growing up isn't THAT bad. well at least we mature and become young adults and bla bla. but hell yeah, now i agree that growing up sucks. haha! the adult fare is just unbearable man. there are tons of many other stupid things which i thought of ( imagine the time wasted here ) which i can't say here, if not i will spend half the day blogging. ( and wasting even more time )

now im filled with envy for the little kids, who are so carefree and yeah, free of problems. from what has happened under my roof, it's amazingly tough to even smile or be happy. everytime i come home, and i see mom, it really aches my heart. i've never seen her so weak before. she never fails to see to our laundry, and yes, keeping the house sparkling clean. but now, after mopping a room, she has to stop for awhile and catch her breath. i always tell her not to worry about me and, i can take care of myself. but never can she let her mind rest for me.

i so do not like the atmosphere of my home now. empty, unloved, hatred... it isn't a nice mix at all. i still can never get over what happened between joel and me right on the first hour of new year's day. and just today, he said "why you didn't trim your hair". i've had enough of this fucking shit. come one day, im definitely gonna end this. and yes im sorry, for letting you guys hear all my trouble ( liang jie, louis, and haha you guys know who you are :D ) . if blood has to be drawn, by all means. im tired of this shitty crap. and yeah, mom's test results. tomorrow she has to go for a heart scan. sigh. god, i hope my prayers reached you. you are all i have now.

definitely by now, i've lost the meaning of life. i've never felt so lost before. am i someone who allows setbacks to pin me to the dead ground? life isn't a bed of roses, but trust me. im not even close to have experienced being on a bed of roses before. that's why, it really makes my blood boil when someone has to be so fucking emo and having a drop dead face. think about it, friend.

right now, i don't even feel like working. but i guess, i have to stop for now. there are just too many things to worry about. mom, fret not. i'll be praying for you. i love you. im really looking forward to the day which i can actually post something happy. and haha yes, praise the lord for everything man. especially for music! and especially, for bringing dear yoshiki-kun and many many other bands to this world. through them, i can really let out my feelings. singing along, headbanging along, crying along...

this has got to be the worst year, worst CNY ever. i remember mom feasting and everything, but right now, she has to forgo all the nice food. returning to an empty home sucks too. thank you friends. who have sticked through these with me all these while. you know who you are. :D i love you guys!

alright, this has gotta be the sappiest shit i ever written. im gonna try my very best to find my way back on the highway again. :)

im head over heels

2008-01-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

mood - im mixed
music - Silverstein : My Heroine

okay i don't know how to say this, but. im worried worried worried. mom's report will be out before CNY. the 'o' levels too. im really afraid to disappoint everyone even though i've put in my best foot. anyway away from that, the chalet was a success, hah. it's been long since we got together. definitely, we must do this more often. (:

The Show Must Go On

2008-01-14T16:48:00.000+08:00

mood - rojak. ha
music - Drop Dead, Gorgeous : 45223

my identity was nearly exposed just awhile ago. i was like blasting escape the fate in my room, and practically singing along. so i didn't know at all that my dad came home. so eventually he heard those screamings and such, and i was pretty dumbfounded when we saw each other. shucks. i will never ever let them know that i'm in a band, and let alone, a hardcore band. sheesh. they'll probably say that i shouldn't waste my time and money on these nonsense, and i should concentrate on studying, earning and saving money, get a good job in years to come, climb the corporate ladder, all that shit. my older sibling (note that i don't wanna acknowledge him) will probably put me down, way down. or even restrict my life and delete all my songs. now that's the last thing that i would wanna see. in this life stricken with plagues and such, accompanied with the increasing morbidity, music definitely speaks volume. i guess when we are of this age, we tend to take notice of the departures of lives surrounding us, and all these often are lessons for us to take note of, ultimately, to cherish our loved ones. recently my classmates and i organised a chalet, but hearing them saying that they don't wanna go and it's because that they're "not close" to our classmates, i stopped and ponder. im not saying all these to point the pistol at anybody, but we all do know that life is fragile, and every opportunity presented right in front of us, we should take it and make full use of it right? in this case, it's to spend quality time and catch up with one another. we all have to return to god one day. and at that point of time, humans will start to regret and grief. with "why?", "why." filling the state of mind. in a time where society is this brittle, i finally see why are human beings afraid of the end of the world.

enough said, our beloved guitarist mh came up with a song named : vampires are nocturnal creatures that bites cute girl's throat. im fucking in love with this song now hahahahahahahaha!

violent supplements

2008-01-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

mood - enlightened :)
music - Silverstein : Your Sword vs. My Dagger

i've learnt something valuable from some email chain har har. here it goes! "loving someone means letting that special someone go. if she comes back, she's yours. if she doesn't, she's not yours. this is the way to go if you want her to be happy."

Tears

2008-01-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

mood - im fucked up.
music - Guns N' Roses : Don't Cry

this has got to be the worst new year ever. i was so freaking happy with nic mh and gang just now. and now. after watching countdown 2008, i freaking teared. alot. why do i always have to shed my fucking tears. they are meant to be precious, aren't they. my bro came home after the channel 5 countdown ended. he asked me, why have i not trimmed my hair. ( he told me to 2 weeks ago ) and i said, i don't wanna cut. i wanna keep my hair. firstly is that WRONG? then he came up to me and grab me by the shirt. and said, "you wanna fuck around with me right?" then he kept on pushing me, gave each other shoves, and eventually it all came to a stand still. i feel so sorry for that his girlfriend had to see all these, and even hearing him said "you fuck off" to her. tell me where is judgement and justice. i just couldn't hold back my tears and i eventually cried. oh god, tell me. what is so fucking wrong here. i just wanna keep my hair. and my brother even said as long as he is around, this is his house. and he will never allow me to keep that hair. he said i will invite unnecessary trouble if i kept that hair. gangsters see me not happy, they'll whack. i was like what the fuck. and he said i looked like a HOOLIGAN with my hair. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. don't put me together with them. at that point of time i feel like leaving this god damned house. this is a fucking hollow apartment with no love. hmm, im really relieved that i managed to hide my red eyes from my mom. i told myself never to actually compare my life with the others, but the envy i have for the other kids are, incalculable. oh god, please, i need your help.

TRIVIUM!

2007-12-29T02:44:00.000+08:00

mood - sleepy... yawn
music - Blessthefall : Purple Dog (HAHAHA!)

25thdec~26thdec
alright! it's been really long sinced i last got on to blogger. these few days are really happening man, lol. spent the xmas night with char, xuan, sher, mh, nic at m hotel. it's seriously cool shit! with all the food and everything, i had an awesome time man! thank you sher for the food, the booze, nic too! for the booze. haha. and mh for the chocs and xmas card, and char for the lovely present! ooh man. haha. so that night was seriously damn fun. mh nic and i even did a spoof of 3 music videos with sher's in-built web cam on her HP laptop. so it was xmas hats and booze! the next day we had bah kut teh for breakfast. cool eh? best xmas ever for me!

28thdec
went out with nic mh and char. with our m&m's shirts. haha! we're really so colorful man. and sher overslept! tsk tsk. anyway, today we went to eat eat eat and walk walk walk. haha. congrats to mh nic and denzel for getting topman/topshop for their jobs. =) anyway today's outing, there was like so many triviums. lol! fucking assholes. im still laughing at how they dress HAHAHA! =D im evil. oh yes, i love the pictures we took today =)

29thdec
back to work again! im stucked at g2000 and i can't freaking transfer to topman. =( so unfairrrr

=D

2007-12-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SILLY DOPE!

haha i had to do a seperate post as my previous one was way stupid and down. so yup. happy sweet sixteen! =)

G2000

2007-12-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

mood - phew!
music - Haste the Day : Stitches

ooh finally im blogging again. haha! alright man. after having my supper (prata) i decided to blog. working at g2pp's fun and great! the people there are reeeeeealllly friendly, and the environment is really really comfortable for me. all i can say is that im happy with this job haha! but of course, im never ever gonna climb the corporate ladder. heh heh. and parkway parade's an amazing place. i thought it was like, those shabby malls but oh my god man there are so many apparels here! almost all of wingtai's clients. from nike and all the way to dorothy perkins! okay so my colleagues are all sooooo good. haha! even thought there's this tomboy who's scared me on the first day of work. she has tatoos on both hands, one which is the chinese word 'love' and the other i don't know what the heck but it looks like the cancer sign. oh well. she taught me many stuffs! haha. since she worked there for 2 years. gosh man. after i get paid im definitely gonna shop shop shop! =D

lalala

2007-12-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

mood - jealous!
music - X Japan : Scars

ok it seems im starting work tomorrow afternoon at parkway parade. im working in g2000. LOL! i need a switch in location man!

The Serpent

2007-12-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

mood - empty
music - Still Remains : The Worst is Yet to Come

say i'm paranoid or whatever, i think i'm losing it to you guys.

hahahaha

Blessthefall

2007-12-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

mood - i'm feeling down
music - Blessthefall : His Last Walk

okay, so when i went home today after a day out, i saw mom and she looks distressed. somehow i don't feel so good. what is her medical report gonna be like. fuck.

My Chemical Romance

2007-12-12T18:51:00.000+08:00

mood - wasted!
music - My Chemical Romance : Mama

ALRIGHT BABY! My Chemical Romance rocked Max Pavillion to the MAX man! haha and i mean it! that day was really shitty, for i was uber late on meeting with mh nic and eechun. thanks to the unpredictable timing of my job. so i practically rushed from NTU to harborfront, back to hougang to change and then to changi airport on bus 27 and then to T2 and then took the mrt to expo. oooh man, it's like rush hour haha. but it's all worth it! i was really dumbfounded with the long queue over at expo. lol. we had to do something! so mh and i went to the front and checked things out. so it was really a mess, take a look at this photo and you'll know lmao

okay, after this, we went to the expo gates. and yeah! we got in! we cut the whole shit queue! lmao man. this should be one of the best discoveries! so not long after, we were in the standings waiting for MCR! yeeha! and while waiting, people started to blow up condoms and threw it around. lol. after quite a long wait, there it is! MCR right before our eyes! they opened the show with This Is How I Disappear. yeah man! believe me i was fucking ecstatic and high throughout the 1 hour set. so next up was Dead! man, they are really awesome. and they played Mama too! one of my favourites. they are god-like man, as mh said, even singapore rock icons like dong and levan were jumping to the songs. ray toro's really awesome, with those bad-ass solos. and gerard! yay gerard! he even smoked with ray during an interval. and after that he still hit those high notes perfectly. mikey looks awesome too! haha welcome back mikey. haha and eechun was sad that his father (bob bryar) didn't perform due to a broken wrist. and the pianist is cool! haha he sang motley crue's home sweet home with gerard coming in with him for the chorus. so initially we were almost the back of the crowd, and after I'm Not Okay (I Promise) we were almost near the front. look at the pictures and you will know. so reason why weren't at the most front? thanks to some bitches, they suck big time. i thought being like from the US or something they know how gigs are like, but this bitches here were fucking losers. if you mind the pushing and nudging, then fuck off! simple as that. alright enough of them. and almost the end of the gig, i was really oblivious of my surroundings. mh told me : "hey saw loser." i didn't know, until he twisted my head to the person infront of me. so i blurted out oh my god saw loser. and then jimmy ( the bassist ) and his girlfriend both turned around and said hi. LOL! so! i was really wasted! jumped, fisted, rocked out through the gig, this concert is awesome baby! best one in the year 2007. and i heard gerard saying that they will be back next year. well, hope it's true! yes, they played helena, i don't love you, desert song, famous last words, cancer too!!

yeeha MCR!

Gerard : " well i guess you guys might know this song, " Welcome To The Black Parade!

Gerard!

yeeha!

The Black Parade

2007-12-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

mood - anxious!
music - The Devil Wears Prada : You Can't Spell Crap Without 'C'

ok, for once the horoscope reading over at friendster was correct. which is to, handle the problems you face right at the start of this morning. and i woke up with an eye infection in the left eye. it was swollen. alright, so i went to my family clinic. and on my way i saw mrs pauline wong and miss michael. haha, guess they were having their breakfast. and yes! while waiting for the doctor to call my name, i was looking at how they charge in private clinics. so if the duration of consultation was fast, it will be cheaper. and! the range was from 12 - 20 bucks. so the doctor called, i went in, told him about the infected eye, and i went out to wait for pharmacy to prepare the medicine. the conversation between me and the doctor was less than a minute. i was expecting along with the medicine, the price will be around 22 or 23 odd. and then the total was 28 bucks. 28 bucks is like, for those who consult the doctor for more than 10minutes. oh well. that's who we are. the middle class. we will always complain and try to save money. and not investing in buying assets. oh my, i think i really absorbed a hell lot from cashflow 101, robert kiyosaki and donald trump. the most wicked "rich" mix! haha!

poo poo roo poo poo poo prooo

2007-12-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

mood - ugh!
music - Avenged Sevenfold : Afterlife

okay im being realllll bored, so i decided to do this (it helps me to remember also so haha). it's the guidelines that i have to remember!

Hi,
excuse me, can i have a few moments of your precious time? I'm aristotle, and i'm helping the entrepreneurship club from NUS alumni to do a short survey for the activities we're having. I'm also helping to promote the activites from the entrepreneurship club, one of which is the cashflow workshop. have you heard of this workshop before? also, have you read rich dad, poor dad before? the purpose of this workshop is to 1) promote the spirit of entrepreneurship and 2) let young people know the advantages of entrepreneurship. this workshop is a interactive programme, and not a seminar talk! in this programme you actually play cashflow 101 and learn the concepts of financial intelligence. from cashflow 101 one can learn how to manage our future and how to spot opportunities! it's also a value-added life and career planning programme. also, the workshop is fun and the activities are hands on, and interactive at the same time because we share our experiences while playing. we held the programme in schools before (NTU/NUS). the response is very good, and the workshop is open to the public. people who are attending this are not just students, but people of different professions like engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc. the workshop is held on wednesdays, 7 - 9.30pm and saturdays 1.30pm - 4.30pm. the venue is @ BMW performance centre which is beside ikea.

PHEW!

salute

2007-12-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

mood - =)
music - Hawthorne Heights : Ohio Is For Lovers

alright, first of all yup, a great salute to Casey Calvert. even though he's leading his eternally blissful life right now, the world will definitely remember him deeply for the many great songs he gave us with Hawthorne Heights. please rest in peace. im sure this relates to everyone, to cherish the loved ones around you. who knows when god calls upon you? haha, it really is unpredictable. so yeap! the big word here is to cherish. haha.

oh man, christmas is coming! i hope i can get a weekly/daily paid job soon enough. :( gave topman a ring around the afternoon, but nobody was on the other end. im getting reallllly bored at home! i even putted on the putting mat at home for 2 hours =.=

yada yada yada

2007-12-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

mood - restless =/
music - alice nine. : ZERO

i'm so bored at home! i need entertainment. =( being a couch potato is so so so uber boring!

wowsers

2007-12-06T19:34:00.000+08:00

im crush(ed)crush(ed)crush(ed)!

haha. anyway, wow man. today was really an eye-opener. i was working as a surveyor for my aunt and cousins, so i went to NTU to fish the students there along with my seniors. and wow! the people there are so different. i feel so tiny compared to them, in both brains and brawns. sheesh.

daylight break

2007-12-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

mood - hmmm...
music - Skid Row : I Remember You

I just cleared my stuffs! Books, papers, whoa man! They piled up to 2 big bags in volume. I think each bag weighs up to 20+kg! Insane man. Haha my table looks so organised now.

yay! you're back tomorrow ^^

JIAO UNITED WON SIMEI ITE 5-3 WOOO

2007-12-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

mood - WASTED TO THE ULTIMATE.... and and super gay (it's happy =.=)
music - I can't believe this... but it's something related to my mood. Scissor Sisters! : I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

HAHAHA! As you may have noticed from the eye-catching title, that team (Jiao United) that I play the 2nd half for wacked Simei ITE 5-3! yay yay yay yay yay! hahahahahahahaha. here's how it goes!

Match History:

Hmm, a little introduction beforehand. Firstly, this team is managed by Low Wei Jie (I think). Haha he's my funny classmate! Anyway, the team is pretty much made up of his friends around his neighbourhood. Which is Sengkang. And and and! I found a long lost cousin! Haha his name is Aaron. Yeap he made a cameo appearance at the remaining 5 minutes or so during last week's Home Decor Survivor. He is the cousin of my cousin who stays a floor below him, so that makes aaron my cousin also. LOL hope that didn't confuse any. Okay so, Aaron brought another of his cousin to play also. But I'm not sure whether that guy is also my cousin... but probably not. Forgive my shallowness in Family Trees. It sucks anyway. So we were leading at around 15mins or so. Aaron's cousin scored! haha. By the way his cousin is from Hwa Chong, and he has gold for B' Division in professional hurdle crossovers. WHOA! And then, after that Simei ITE caught up and eventually took over us. 2-1 the half time score. So, while warming up the bench alongside with Wei Jie's friends, they lost hope eventually, as they lost the last 6 matches. I pulled up quite a great line, telling them that we can win this. It's quite great because today's the first time I'm playing =.= . Aaron's cousin was taken down by the opponent in the 2nd half, so i substituted him. It was a free kick haha! Just about 24yards away from goalmouth. So i took it and i equalised! Yay! You should had seen the looks of those cocky bastards. lol! So i took the ball and put it on the centre line for them. And then, Aaron scored 2 amazing goals! haha! Also Simei ITE caught up. So... We were leading 4-3 when our star centre back ashraf put the ball in the net sweetly! He's really amazing man. and Yay! We won 5-3! The last time they met Jiao United lost by alot... Yeap it's AOS (Any Other Score). lmao. So! fruitful day! Won a competitive match, found a cousin, and of course. Got my MCR tix baby! Alright! I'm so tired now. Gonna hydrate myself now AND maybe, just maybe I'll play Seal Online. Though my bed is calling me to Lala land...

oh man i miss you so much! come back quick =X

huh

2007-11-30T01:27:00.000+08:00

mood - fucked up
music - underOATH : Moving For The Sake Of Motion
Seriously, i have no fucking say in anything. maybe it won't come true after all. im fucked.

apocalypse

2007-11-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

mood - listless
music - Bring Me The Horizon : Pray For Plagues

well well, what to say. i don't think there's any reason left for me to breathe on. seriously. maybe my dreams of performing live on stage will never come true. there's just so many things streaking across my pea brain. many, many things. damn, for once in life i feel really tired. fuck this shit.

if only the 7 trumpets will sound right now. eternal life, purity on earth again.

Riot!

2007-11-25T17:53:00.000+08:00

Paramore : Crushcrushcrush

I got a lot to say to you
Yeah, I got a lot to say
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all

They taped over your mouth
Scribbled out the truth with their lies
Your little spies
They taped over your mouth
Scribbled out the truth with their lies
Your little spies

Crush
Crush
Crush
Crush, crush
(Two, three, four!)

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happened
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this

If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

They taped over your mouth
Scribbled out the truth with their lies
Your little spies
They taped over your mouth
Scribbled out the truth with their lies
Your little spies

Crush
Crush
Crush
Crush, crush
(Two, three, four!)

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happened
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this now

Rock and roll, baby
Don't you know that we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
Give me something to sing about

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happened
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than
No, oh

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happened
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than
More than this

i wanna be loved.

2007-11-25T02:44:00.000+08:00

mood - pretty okay
music - Haste the Day : Chorus of Angels

okay, i just read this up. doomsday on 21.12.2012 ? wow man, it's quite believable, after reading all the hypotheses, the theories, the natives predictions, bible codes, well. for what we know, we can never really predict that is the day. but, we gotta live life to the fullest man! leave this earth without regrets. ^^

i'll let fate decide this. but, im,
stuck on you, till the end of time.

prom night

2007-11-24T15:30:00.000+08:00

mood - yeah!
music - Paramore : CrushCrushCrush...................(ed) =(

yeeeha! prom was pretty good. haha. except for, erhmmm. those who turned up for prom should know. HARHARHAR im eeeeeevil. everyone was looking their best for that night! haha somehow it was pretty unusual, maybe because we're too used to see each other in uniforms. it was really wonderful too see everyone again har har. okay, so prom started. our host for the night was Mr Maran! haha. perpetually and naturally he poked fun at manyyy which was hilarious haha! from anything to everything man. it's nice to see our school being so "spontaneous", if you know what i mean. haha! the best thing is i get to sit at the VIP table! along with nic and justin. we outplayed. outlasted. haha! survivor : meritus madarin. lmao. wooohooo. being served is such a nice thing. with the speakers and the stage right in front of us. teehee. okay, speaking of the stage. damn man, if only i got a chance to perform. it would be so coooool. anyway, im too lazy to write about the events which took place, and somehow some of them was pretty UNBELIEVABLE. haha. okay i won myself a converse voucher, 20bucks. it's really lucky to win something. haha. nic won the 50bucks levi's voucher, being the biggest winner amongst us. Us. okay. many pictures taken during prom! and after that mh, nic, ryan and I caught the 2.15 show the kingdom. it was dammmmm hilarious. check it out people! then we walked from cineleisure to esplanade, goofed the way there. and also we played soccer with the bounciest and hardest fishball ever found in singapore. i believe the ball is currently in church grounds, haha. literally man. when we reached the bridge, the sunrise was blocked by the clouds. damn. well. prom was fun(ny) har har. with TFP to laugh about. TFP TFP TFP haha!

im naiveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2007-11-20T00:58:00.001+08:00

McFly : The Heart Never Lies

Some People Laugh
Some People Cry
Some People Live
Some People Die
And Some People Run
Right into the Fire
And Some People Hide
Their Every Desire

But We Are The Lovers
If You Don’t Believe Me
Then Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Some People Fight
Some People Fall
Others Pretend
They Don’t Care At All
If You Wanna Fight
I’ll Stand Right Beside You
The Day That You Fall
I’ll Be Right Behind You

To Pick Up The Pieces
If You Don’t Believe Me
Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Woahhh x 2

Another Year Over
And Were Still Together
It’s Not Always Easy
But I’m here Forever

Yeah We Are The Lovers
I Know You Believe Me
When You Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies

okay, you probably won't come across this. probably sleeping right now too. some parts are cliche, but yeah. after reading the events of the past 2 years, i guess im shit. can't really do anything now anyway. ****'s a sin. for now i guess. possibility for reciprocrating a one-sided ****? it's fucking close to zero. oh well. thank you, you know who you are. for those advices and stuffs. im probably a fag just like what you've said. sorry to disappoint your efforts. and yeah, thanks for all peeps who stood by me these days. you guys rock my butt. god bless. you know who you are (: prom and christmas is coming soon, so yeah! fuck the escalating emotions. and yeah samantha, i promise to send the single as fast as possible. =D cheers! love everyone around me. (p.s. revetment will kick your butts real hard soon! ) and wow, today's oli skyes birthday. haha. hope BMTH will drop by singapore next year!

ahhhh

2007-11-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

mood - panic time!
music - Led Zeppelin : Rock and Roll

what the fuck man, LIME SONIC BANG was a blast! whoa. many many many fun i had. but how, im hopeless!!! regretted ALOT. and damn, the job i interviewed for? that fella still haven't return the call!! coupled with the prom drawing closer and closer, =( i don't have enough time to get the cash for shopping! sheesh. and yeah, tommorow's the day of my mom's electrocardiogram test. with all the things attached to her for 24hours, . my heart aches, big time. god, it was nice chatting with you just now. thank you oh lord.

2007-11-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

happy birthday wong!

haha, im tired after coming back from wong's birthday party. and yeah, recruit express rang me up. hope i'll get that job asap =D and yay, i've planned everything for prom wooooo

2007-11-12T14:30:00.000+08:00

I NEED A JOB!!!!! =(